Feeling vulnerable these days? Maybe you’ve lost money in your IRA because of a bearish stock market. Or you’ve been asked to put in more hours at work for the same pay. You’re worried about rising school expenses for the kids. Both you and your wife are working harder than ever but you feel like you’re barely holding your heads above water.
In troubled times like these, some special caring for each other could go a long way. The goal is not to find solutions to big, complex problems immediately beyond your control but to help you soothe each other and reduce the stress. Here’s a list of 21 things – simple, little things – you can do. When you add them all up they can make a big difference in your everyday lives.
You first, then your lover:
1. Greet me with a kiss and hug in the morning before you get out of bed.
2. Wash my back.
3. Bring me a bottle of wine at the end of the day.
4. Smile and say you’re glad to see me when you wake up.
5. Ask me what CD I’d like to hear and put it on.
6. Make fresh orange juice for me in the morning.
7. Reach over and touch me when we’re driving.
8. Tell me you love me.
9. Call me a work, just for a half a minute to tell me you’re thinking about me.
10. Make me feel welcome when I get turned on by you.
11. Invite me to talk about my work, not the details but how I’m feeling about it.
12. Just hold me when you see I’m down.
13. Tell me how you feel about your work, I mean your feelings, not the details.
14. If you’re going to stop at the store, ask me if there’s anything I want or need.
15. Really look at me when I’m telling you something important.
16. Look at me when I step out of the shower soaking wet.
17. Tell me I’m nice to be around.
18. Ask my opinion about things you write and let me know if my suggestions are useful.
19. Tell me I look hot with just a few of my clothes on (and tell me which ones I should wear).
20. Ask me what I’d like you to do to please me for a whole weekend.
21. Tell me what you’d like me to do to please you when we can steal some time together.
If you’d like more useful suggestions on how to deepen your emotional bonds with your lover, Marriage Couples Counseling in New York City can help.
When times get rough and you find yourself bickering or clamming up over little things that upset you, we can help you re-label arguments to find the hurt beneath the punch and give you good relationship tools to help reduce, anxiety, depression and stress.
www.marriage-couples-counseling-new-york.com/
For lovers who want a deeper understanding of differences
instead of demanding total agreement.
