Remember when you both got pregnant, the emotions you felt? Most often shock, then joy and pride. A new family in the making! And after the birth of your child, another shock. Your lives as you previously knew them turned upside down. Your schedules now organized around this beautiful, adorable, deeply loved, tiny food processing machine who has taken over your lives.
Right after the birth of a child, it’s common for couples to grow apart. The mother often feels that the full weight of feeding and nurturing the child falls on her. In the middle of the night when the baby stirs or cries out for a feeding, it’s the mother who’s first to wake from a sound sleep while daddy sleeps blissfully through the whole thing. A deep, special bond develops between a mother and her newborn that even today we don’t fully understand. And in the weeks and months following the child’s birth, it’s common for the father to feel excluded, even rejected by the mother. Whatever happened to the deep, passionate connection of the two lovers who made the child?
It’s a big adjustment for the two lovers to make emotional space for the child and still hold on to their own intimate connection.
It’s a challenge for them to collaborate in child rearing, financial decisions and housekeeping tasks.
It’s also a major challenge for them to realign their relationships with each of their families of origin to include grandparenting roles. All too frequently the loving, well-intentioned grandparents have their own ideas about parenting that are often expressed with the best of intentions and wind up having the worst consequences for everyone involved, including the baby.
Our marriage and couples counselors can help you adapt to this often difficult period in your lives. Take a look at:
