One of the best explanations my marriage and couples counselors have ever heard about what it means to be an adolescent is that these creatures, even at their healthiest, often exist to drive a parent crazy! The reason is they have a hole in the brain or as yet insufficient myelination in a pre-frontal cortex.
For two devoted lovers who have managed, with understandable ups and downs, to get through the early child rearing years, when the darlings hit adolescence, often with a bang, the parents are face with a whole new set of challenges designed to cause them high anxiety. High anxiety over such issues as body piercings, tattoos, sleepovers, late night or all night parties and last, but certainly not least, sex! Oh, and let’s not forget safe sex, alcohol and drugs.
It’s extremely difficult for caring parents to give a former child the emotional space to grow into greater independence and autonomy while still giving that young person the limits they need. The former kids may behave like impressively sophisticated young adults one minute, but the next they morph into confused, anxious children. It’s a roller coaster for a loving parent!
It’s also difficult for the parents to begin adjusting to the prospect of their deeply loved, half-adult, half-child adolescents eventually leaving the nest and making their own place in the world.
Finally, faced with the impending prospect of an empty nest after the children have all flown away, what will a parent decide to do with life? How will a person fill the void left by a child’s absence? A new career? Travel? Artistic pursuits? What specific uses will be made of so-called leisure time? There’s nothing worse than sitting in a boat, adrift, drifting aimlessly without any wind in the sails.
My marriage and couples counselors can help you navigate through this difficult, challenging period. Take a look at:
