You have reached a good place in your life, becoming engaged to a partner you wish to share the rest of your life with. As you spend more close time together there may become areas that must be discussed and dealt with before you marry, otherwise the marriage may have a rocky beginning. Premarital counselling helps couples develop a new set of skills to help you understand your partner more.
Try Not to Ignore the Differences
Learning to appreciate the differences between a couple is an important skill to learn. Rather than trying to change your partner and to move them beyond and out of their comfort zone, accepting how they are is essential because that is more likely to be the person you chose to be your life partner.
Some differences may not be apparent in the early stages of a couple’s life together. Perhaps only through premarital counselling will it become clear that there are going to be some cultural or religious differences that will require a great deal of understanding, especially when the other partner has different opinions and feelings about the subject.
Conflicts Do Not Have to Lead to Battles
There are going to be differences of opinion in the future and it may be difficult to be able to see into the distance to know what problems may occur, but you can plan for the ways that you will deal with them in advance.
One skill that premarital counselling will share with you is to learn that there are healthier ways to talk about conflicts and differences of opinion by listening more to your partner and ensuring that you express your own thoughts on the subject. By knowing that both of you will carry out these skill sets when an area of conflict arises, you will expect this new set of circumstances and will not need to raise voices or move to full battle stations.
Another part of the same skill set is to know and understand when you need to stop conflict conversations and take some time away from the skirmish so that you can both return to the conversation with the objective related to solving the issues, in friendlier tones and without the pin removed from the grenade.
Premarital counselling provides a couple with the opportunity to learn new skills that will change how they think and act in the future. By understanding the strengths that both of you bring to your team, you will be stronger together rather than weaker in conflict.
