As a key component of a long-term relationship, what are you to do when your trust is betrayed? Intimate relationships rely on a great deal of trust if they’re to work out. Of course, love is more than just a feeling you have about your partner -it’s a commitment. And, being committed to that person means learning how to forgive, even when your trust is betrayed. Though it may not always be easy, here are a few tips that should help on the path to forgiveness.
Put Yourself In Their Shoes
No one has an excuse for bad behavior. However severe the mistake was that your partner made, there’s no questioning that they shouldn’t have made it. Understanding and accepting that this was the case, the first thing you want to do when working to overcome a betrayal of trust is to put yourself in their shoes.
Yes, there is no excuse. With that said, if you had been in their shoes and having lived the life they lived, would you have been able to act any differently? If you remove your own feelings of hurt, you’ll usually find that the answer is “no.” People are formed by their experiences, and by nature we are prone to make mistakes. By taking the time to really understand and appreciate the full situation leading up to that mistake, you can start towards a path of forgiveness.
Open Up Communication
Of course, to really put yourself in your partners shoes, you’re going to need to open up communication. Depending on the injury, this can be difficult. However, if you are committed to staying with your partner and rekindling the relationship, it’s important that you take this crucial step.
Engage in what we often call the couple’s dialog -take time to voice your feelings about the matter and also take time to listen to your partner. Though it may be difficult to imagine, often times your partner can feel as upset as you are over the entire situation. Only be communicating openly can you really dive into this.
Make It A Priority
Love is a powerful force and powered by the right motivation, you’re capable of great forgiveness. When restoring your relationship is a priority, make sure you stress the importance of forgiveness to yourself. Decide not that you will “try to forgive,” but rather that you must forgive.
From there, set aside time each day to sit down with your partner and engage in a dialog so you can get to the route of it. When you’re ready to forgive in your heart, that’s when you can start restoring trust.
Getting Help with Forgiveness
Trust is a cornerstone of any relationship and when trust is violated, recovering can be tough. Rather than go it alone, remember that restoring a relationship takes work and sometimes having someone to guide you through the process can aid in your healing. Forgiveness is not always easily offered, which is why couple’s counseling can help pave a path and make your journey that much easier.
Is your relationship on the rocks? We at Marriage Couples Counseling In New York City can help. Give us a call at 212-673-4618 to get started down the path of forgiveness.
