Relationships are incredibly special. Your partner is your other half, best friend, partner-in-crime and twin flame. You love and care about them more than anyone or anything else on the planet, and the bond you have is like no other. However, there may come a time where you and your partner are so comfortable together, that you both grow complacent in the physical aspect of your relationship. When this happens, you may notice that the electric intimacy you two once shared has fizzled. This is when you know you need ways to improve intimacy in your relationship.
You may make less of an effort to look sexy when you make love, or you may stop having nightly talks about how your days went. You’ve grown so used to each other that both of you probably started to make less of an effort to keep the spark alive.
All lovers who have been together for a long time should remind themselves of what the distinguished author, Alain de Bottom, once wrote in his novel On Love: “Every fall into love involves the triumph of hope over self-knowledge. We fall in love hoping we won’t find in another what we know is in ourselves, all the cowardice, weakness, laziness, dishonesty, compromise, and stupidity. We throw a cordon of love around the chosen one and decide that everything within it will somehow be free of our faults. We locate inside another a perfection that eludes us within ourselves, and through our union with the beloved hope to maintain (against the evidence of all self-knowledge) a precarious faith in our species.”
If this rings true with you, worry not. Marriage Couples Counseling in New York City has you covered with four proven ways to improve intimacy in your relationship. Keep reading to learn more.
Love yourself first
You’ve heard the saying before: “you can’t love someone if you don’t love yourself.” This doesn’t change when you’re in a long-term relationship. The way you love and treat your partner is a reflection of how you feel about yourself. What can you do to make a positive impact in the aspects of your life you’re not happy about? How does treating your partner less than they deserve influence these things? Life is all about perspective. When you change the way you look at yourself and accept yourself wholeheartedly, you will be able to treat your partner the same way.
Understand your partner’s love language
Taking the time to learn your partner’s love language will help improve the intimacy in your relationship more than you can imagine. There are five love languages: physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts and acts of service. Even after years together, you can always learn something new about them. Take this newfound information about their love language to create even more magic in your love that you thought was left behind in the honeymoon phase.
Be open and vulnerable
Opening up and being vulnerable isn’t the easiest thing to do, especially with someone who you know you trust, but haven’t exchanged feelings with in a while. Talking on a much deeper level of emotion than usual can be intimidating and scary, but you may be surprised at how you will end up being on the same wavelength as your partner. It will not only reaffirm the fact that you can trust them unconditionally, but that they have most likely been experiencing the same feelings towards your relationship that you have.
Laugh together
Never underestimate the power of laughing with your partner. Doubling over in laughter with someone – especially your partner – creates a special bond, as humor is a very distinct and important aspect of our personalities. When you share those moments of deep belly laughter with your partner, it’s almost as if you’re understanding them in a way you hadn’t before. Even if you two are giggling at a funny TV show or movie, you both are relating to the same humor. This will allow both of you to feel more intimate and closer in a very lighthearted, easy and loving way.
Seeking a Couples Counselor in New York City
If you and your partner desire to improve intimacy in your relationship, don’t hesitate to contact Marriage Couples Counseling in New York City. We want nothing more than to help your relationship flourish so you and your sweetheart can fall back in love every single day. Give us a call at 212-673-4618 for an in-depth phone consultation.
