Infidelity in relationships is sadly a problem that many have to deal with. Here is what you need to know about acceptance: how to truly forgive after infidelity.
Finding Forgiveness
In order to truly forgive a partner after they have been unfaithful to you, you first need to clearly understand exactly what forgiveness means – and what it does not mean.
What Forgiveness Is
Put simply, forgiveness is a response to an injustice you have suffered – in this instance, infidelity. Forgiveness is accepting that your partner has wronged you and cheated on you behind your back. It is a powerful symbol of mercy, restraint, and goodwill. Forgiveness is one of the most paradoxical of all human actions because it runs counter to what the perceived human norm of wanting retribution is or resenting those who wronged us.
Forgiveness is giving a second chance at love, an opportunity to rebuild that trust and a chance to begin anew. It is the ultimate act of love and kindness.
What Forgiveness Is Not
While forgiveness is the ultimate act of love, it is most certainly not a condoning of the behavior your significant other or pretending like it never happened. Nor does it mean that the pain will easily go away.
Steps You Can Take to Forgive After Infidelity
Now that you understand exactly what forgiveness is, there are practical steps you can take to begin to forgive a cheating partner.
- Acknowledge the hurt that you feel, as well as the anger (and even hatred) you may have for your significant other.
- Take some time to think inwardly about past instances where you acted wrongly or let others down. This is an important step because no one is without fault. We have all made mistakes and we have all let our friends or families down at one point or another. By recognizing that all humans are fallible, you can plant the seeds of acceptance in your heart.
- Decide that you can handle the burden of the infidelity, can brave the anguish that it may cause, and can become bigger and better than the situation at hand. If you can learn to accept and live with the past, you can turn your mindset towards making the future better and turn a negative situation into one of advantage and happiness.
- Make a conscious effort to say out loud – even if only to yourself – that you forgive your partner. Even if you don’t truly believe it at first, just saying these simple words out loud allows the seeds of forgiveness you planted in your heart to germinate and grow.
- Don’t expect personality changes or behavioral changes in your spouse. After all, they are only human. Instead, look at how you can grow from this situation and find positive results within yourself.
Counselling Can Help Your Relationship Flourish
Forgiving infidelity is not an overnight process. You need time. Processing the emotions which arose from cheating (sadness, anger, and grief) is a slow process that can take weeks, months or even years. But by moving forward, you are growing as a person and moving on in a positive way.
If you feel that you need help dealing with issues which may arise in your relationship such as cheating, Marriage Couples Counseling in NYC has the tools to open the lines of communication and help your relationship flourish. Don’t hesitate to give us a call today at 212-673-4618. Life may not be perfect, but that doesn’t mean that your love can’t be just right!
