Divorce is never easy, especially when children are involved. Discussing divorce with your child may seem impossible, but it is essential. Here’s what parents need to know about divorce and children and how to deal with difficult issues.
Breaking the News
Perhaps the hardest part of divorce is breaking the news to your children. When you tell your children about a decision to divorce, always consider their age and temperament. If possible, have both parents present to explain to them that sometimes grownups change the way they love each other and that the two of you have decided to live apart. When talking to your children, it is essential to avoid any blame or guilt, as this will only add to their worries.
Many children will feel that they are to blame when their parents’ divorce. It is therefore vital to consistently reassure your children that they are not to blame in any way and that you both love them very much – no matter what.
Keep Heated Discussions Away from Children
Divorce can be a challenging time for children. Don’t exacerbate the situation by airing your dirty laundry for everyone to hear – including your kids. Always keep any heated discussions away from children, after all, they are already going through enough without adding to their worries. If parents must argue, always take a step away and do it in private.
Understand Their Reactions
One of the most important things parents need to know when the issue of divorce comes up is that not all children will react the same. Some children may break down in tears, while others may not initially respond. Learning your parents are splitting up is an awful lot for a young mind to process. Make sure you understand this and be available to talk to your kids whenever they feel willing or able to react or discuss their feelings.
Legitimize Their Feelings
When your child does begin to express their emotions, always be sure to legitimize these feelings. Validating their feelings and sentiments shows that they aren’t alone and that you are available to lend an ear or give a hug when they need one. By letting your kids know that their emotions – no matter what they are – are legitimate, you are showing them you understand and care.
Encourage Honesty
Part of legitimizing their reactions and feelings is always encouraging openness and honesty. Let them know you are listening and that you value their love and input. A little honesty can go a long way.
Counseling Can Help Your Family Through Difficult Times
If you feel that you need help dealing with issues which may arise in your relationship, Marriage Couples Counseling in NYC has the tools to open the lines of communication and help your relationship with your loved ones flourish. Don’t hesitate to contact us today at 212-673-4618. Life may not be perfect, but that doesn’t mean that your love can’t be just right!
