We often find that this is one of those conversations that couples avoid completely because they are too scared to bring up the question, for fear of offending their partner. Nevertheless, once discussed with couple’s therapists, to help both partners understand why they have been avoiding the dialogue, they will be able to share the potential of an extremely exciting period of their life which is also extremely intimidating and potentially encourages a range of disputed ideals.
Accidents Do Happen
For every couple that consistently worries about when they should make the decision to have children within their relationship, there are some where these decisions are forced upon them through accidents or mistakes. These latter situations may also encourage partners to meet with us as couple’s therapists so they can learn skills which will help them share their worries and concerns, even if they are not in control of the date of birth.
Making an Agreement
Choosing to agree when and how many children to bring into your relationship, may not be straightforward. Now might be the right time for you to consider bringing a baby into your life within the next year, but you may not be able to conceive on a specific timetable and this will bring its own issues into your relationship. The skills of communication and understanding each other’s feelings and emotions, which you have learnt from meeting with your couple’s therapists, will help you clarify how you are both going to cope with potential delays within your planning. This development in your communication skills will also help you consider other alternatives should natural childbirth not become an option.
Bringing a child into your relationship, or perhaps two or three more, may bring religious or cultural differences into your relationship, specifically when you make decisions about how they are to be educated and their general upbringing. We look forward to you being able to voice your own opinions calmly as a great step forward as you make your life changing decisions.
