Psychology Today, an international collective of leading psychologists, therapists, academics, and researchers, compiled a list of questions couples should ask themselves to see if their partnership is truly thriving, or only just surviving. Split into separate dimensions, this evaluation won’t replace the effectiveness of an experienced professional marriage or couple’s counselor but will provide insights into whether or not you should seek the assistance of one. So, does my marriage need a tune-up? Here’s how to evaluate your marriage’s health.
Playing Together
Any successful relationship requires shared humor. One of the best ways to test the strength of your marriage is to remember when the last time was you laughed or played together. This is critical because humor and light-hearted play mean that you are both enjoying the same activity, at the same time – and with no worries about the past or future.
Sharing Dreams
Do you and your partner have similar hopes and dreams? Do you ponder emotional and philosophical ideas together? If not, how open do you think the two of you would be if you did so? Sharing dreams isn’t the be-all-end-all of a relationship, but it’s an important factor in how well you mesh with each other.
Trust
Trust is one of the core principles of any successful marriage. How much do you and your partner actually trust each other? Do you, for example, talk to them about your hopes, dreams or goals? If you are worried about something important, are you willing to open up to them about it? Is your spouse your closest friend? These are all some of the key questions to ponder when evaluating the levels of trust in your relationship.
Working Together
Working as a team may be overlooked as a fair assessor of a healthy marriage, but it shouldn’t be. After all, if you can’t work together on small tasks, how can you expect to make a bigger one—like marriage—work effectively? To gauge this, ask yourself the following questions: If something needs to get done, can you rely on your spouse to do their part? Do they follow through on their promises?
Successful Debaters
This dimension deals with how well you two can argue and make up. Arguments happen in all relationships. It’s how well you are able to overcome these quarrels which shows the strength of a marriage. Do you and your partner find it easy to make peace after a heated debate or argument? Do you feel like they respect your opinions, or do you think that they refuse to budge? These are all things you need to evaluate.
Parenting and the Inner Child
This dimension is actually two separate dimensions rolled into one. Consider this: if your spouse was your child, do you think you would be willing and able to tolerate them as they are? Conversely, if you were their child, how do you think they’d be able to tolerate your behaviors, actions or emotions?
Couples Counselling Can Help Your Relationship Flourish
If you and your partner feel that you need help dealing with issues which may arise in your relationship, Marriage Couples Counseling in NYC has the tools to open the lines of communication and help your relationship flourish. Don’t hesitate to give us a call today at 212-673-4618. Life may not be perfect, but that doesn’t mean that your love can’t be just right!
