Having an honest talk about money with your partner is not easy. Why? It should be simple to discuss everything from your joint bank accounts to investments you’d like to make together – but it isn’t. Well, we’re here to change that. Here are tips on all aspects of marriage and money.
Tips for Talking About Money with Your Partner
Did you know that couples who routinely fight about money (once a week or more) are 30 percent more likely to divorce than those who don’t? This highlights the challenges of having a levelheaded and honest talk about money with your spouse.
So, how can you sit down and have the money talk? We recommend trying out the following:
Sign a “Money Talk Contract”
The last thing most people want to do when talking about money and marriage is do something as boring as writing a contract. Guess what? It helps! Write down a handful of rules (like what we’re discussing today) and then sign it. Have your partner do the same. This lays out exactly what you’re willing to talk about and what you should avoid when talking about money. Plus, it makes the entire experience much more professional, which can help avoid nasty, emotionally driven fights.
Highlight Each Other’s Strengths
This is easier said than done. Sure, we all want to be compassionate when it comes to having serious marriage talks, but it’s often easy to fall into old, ingrained patterns of behavior. For example, you might sit down to talk about money and end up fighting about why you dislike your spouse’s in-laws.
Highlight each other’s strengths helps to frame the conversation in a positive light. It also helps to avoid slipping into other arguments. Maybe your partner is great at managing your monthly credit card bills, but not so great at contributing to their 401K. Focus on the former.
Ask Questions and Listen to the Answers
Having an honest talk about money involves asking questions as much as it involves answering them. Ask your spouse what they’d like to do during retirement. Answer honestly and openly when they ask you what your dream house looks like. These types of questions help answer deeper ones:
- Are we saving enough?
- Should we refinance the house?
- Can we afford to have children?
These questions facilitate a level of lightheartedness that prevents fights.
Remember This is an Ongoing Conversation
Talking about money is rarely a onetime conversation. Rather, it’s an ongoing process of multiple conversations, disagreements, and compromises. Sometimes it’s going to be messy. Sometimes it’s going to be simple. Be prepared for both.
Marriage Couples Counseling Can Help
If you liked these tips for talking about money with your partner, then take a look at other helpful articles about marriage, love, and more! If you want help having an emphatic, honest conversation with your partner – about money or anything else – call Marriage Couples Counseling now at (646) 859-0189.
