Marriage is one of the greatest joys we can experience in life. It’s also one of the hardest. Uncertainty, doubt, and fighting are hallmarks of any long-term partnership. They exist alongside the joys, successes, and tender moments of love…but you may be headed for trouble if they begin to overshadow these positive aspects. Today we’re going to look at four major causes of marriage trouble and offer practical solutions for solving them.
You No Longer Communicate or Share
Perhaps the number one way to tell your marriage is falling apart, in addition to being one of the most prevalent marriage issues, is by looking at how you and your partner communicate. It’s wonderful if you’re open and honest with each other about everything. It’s not so great if you’re no longer talking about important topics or holding back from speaking at all.
Remember that communication comes in many different forms. Maybe you don’t tell your spouse about your day, but you always kiss them before leaving the house in the morning. This may sound insignificant, but it’s a communication of love. Work on incorporating these small gestures into your relationship. If you need help, marriage counseling offers a safe space to explore and restore communication!
Ongoing Infidelity
Nothing spells marriage trouble quite like cheating. While it’s not as common as many people think – it’s estimated that 20 percent of men and 13 percent of women stray from their marriages – infidelity is serious. It’s a breaking of the marital trust between spouses and can have a large ripple effect. The cheating partner is often dishonest afterward, and likely struggling with feelings of guilt, while the other person wonders why their partner is so distant. This trouble is compounded by ongoing infidelities like an affair or multiple flings.
Restoring trust after infidelity isn’t simple, but it’s certainly possible. Working together with your spouse to understand why one of your cheated in the first place is important. We call this treating the problem rather than the symptom. Couples counseling is uniquely suited to give both partners a voice through practices like creative role playing and the couples’ dialogue.
You Feel Like Roommates Rather Than Partners
Marriage issues sometimes blend together. One way this commonly manifests is in the feeling that you’re living with a roommate rather than a husband or wife. Things like the lack of communication or infidelity mentioned above can lead to distance and a lack of intimacy between partners. We’re not just talking about sexual intimacy either, but the general feeling that you and your spouse simply aren’t “in it together” anymore.
One way to help heal this distance is through dating again. Make an official date night with your partner, and don’t miss it for anything. Practice communication and romance on these dates. This won’t make everything magically better at once, but you’ll start to feel more connected with your spouse. Bring up the idea in marriage counseling and see what your therapist says!
Financial Troubles
Did you know that 70 percent of couples reported fighting about money more than anything else? Financial troubles almost always mean marriage trouble is around the corner. It’s important to note that financial trouble doesn’t have to mean debt, bad investments, or other forms of losing money. It can be as seemingly normal as talking about money less and less with your partner or changing your PIN without telling your spouse.
If you’re struggling with any of the above signs your marriage is falling apart, call Marriage Couples Counseling & Life Coaching today at (212) 673-4618. We can help you and your partner uncover the causes and conditions of marriage issues.
