A healthy marriage is one in which both spouses understand each other, love each other, and welcome each other’s differences. It’s a lot more than just compromising. Why? There will always be differences in a marriage, so compromise is a given. The three golden rules of healthy marriages are curiosity, patience, and tenderness.
Curiosity Can Save Your Marriage
It might not seem like a big deal, but curiosity is vital to a healthy marriage. It is so important that it might wind up saving your marriage one day. Every marriage has its ebbs and flows. There will be good times and bad. If you are experiencing more bad times than good right now, it’s time to engage in being curious about your spouse.
Stop buying each other lavish gifts, scheduling big romantic gestures for Valentine’s Day, and going on exotic vacations. All of these things only provide a limited amount of happiness. Once you return to real life with jobs, kids, and aging parents, you will fall into the same rut with your spouse.
Be openly curious about your spouse. Show a renewed interest in them. When you do so, you will learn all about their fears, their interests, their goals in life, and much more. You might also learn what it is your spouse truly wants to do on their birthday, instead of what you think they might want to do.
Patience in a Marriage
Being patient in a marriage is not easy. You will be hurt unintentionally by your spouse throughout the life of your marriage. It happens. Do you belittle your spouse after they do something trivial? You likely won’t feel good afterward. Both spouses need to be patient, and it takes a lot of practice. You need to have empathy in relationships in order to succeed.
You can practice patience in your marriage by:
- Being patient when angry
- Practicing patience daily
- Understanding your spouse
- Learning from your mistakes
- Thinking before you speak and act
Increasing Tenderness in Your Marriage
Tenderness is another important aspect of a healthy marriage. It includes making an effort to imagine what it’s like to walk in your spouse’s shoes. If you see a need for increased tenderness in your marriage, be sure you take part in:
- Being gentle with your spouse instead of practicing brutal honesty
- Communicating emotionally from the heart
- Taking notice of how your spouse feels
- Sharing a secret way to tell your spouse you love them
- Slowly healing wounds caused by each other
- Always responding with consideration
- Not being unkind to each other
- Enticing your spouse to be romantic
- Practicing sympathy
- Helping your partner feel safe when expressing their compassion
Need Tips for a Healthy Marriage? Speak with a Counselor Today
If you need tips for a healthy marriage, it’s in your best interest to speak with Marriage Couples Counseling and Life Coaching. Contact us at (212) 673-4618 to schedule an appointment.
